Neogtiation: How to be Right Without Making Other People Wrong

What exactly are we trying to accomplish by proving to others that we're right? We might win the argument but ultimately lose the relationship. Perhaps a better, deeper-rooted question is this: Why do we lose sight of success, of our big objective, when we feel challenged or intimidated?

When I prepare to negotiate, provide a service or turn my employees' talent into performance, I know deep down that if I make people feel valuable they will see my input as having value. But in that moment when they are just hands-down, across-the-board dead wrong, I sometimes can't stop myself from letting them know how incredibly wrong they are. When that happens, my ability to influence them vaporizes on the spot, and I'm left dealing with the response I created by making them wrong.

I think this is the most consistently counterproductive thing we do in business and, I suspect, in our personal lives too. It may be the foundation of communication breakdown. Maybe this behavior is so prevalent because it's part of human nature. Could we be natural born jerks? (Jerkdom ? nature or nurture?) If so, how do we overcome the urge to prove our point at the expense of our business or relationship?

Wynn Solutions studied thousands of top communicators and saw a common behavior among them: the practice of not making people wrong. We decided to find out how they did it.

We discovered that these top communicators lowered their expectations of other people's behavior before meeting with them face to face. It seemed to reduce the tendency to overreact in the heat of the moment. Also, they walked in the door with an agenda of not making the other person wrong and of looking for areas where the other person's knowledge was strong. So when that moment came ? when other people made their limited knowledge obvious ? top communicators were not so ready to pounce.

This approach may sound a bit condescending to some, but it sure beats dealing with communication issues you create for yourself by having to prove you're the smartest person in the room. It allows you to be right without making others feel wrong.

© Garrison Wynn,CSP 2005

Garrison Wynn is a nationally known speaker, trainer, and consultant. He is the president and founder of Wynn Solutions, specializing in building profitable business relationships.

888-833-2902
http://www.wynnsolutions.com

---

Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Embarrassed To Discuss Your Prices? Seven Common Reasons We Cant Talk About Them

Last week, a wonderfully-skilled electrician installed a new light fixture... Read More

Four Ways To Work Out Business Disputes

Business owners have four options to resolve disputes with partners,... Read More

The Six Rs for Changing MInds and Overcoming Resistance

This article borrows from Howard Gardner's book, "Changing Minds" (2004).... Read More

Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)

A while back, a potential client provided me... Read More

So Whats Your Argument?

Arguments aren't always bad things. Sometimes They're used to convince... Read More

How To Make An Inflexible Bureaucrat See You As A Person

Inflexible Bureaucrats Are Characterized by:1. Cares little about your happiness... Read More

Resolve Conflict In 6 Easy Steps - The BEDROL Method

The principles of Negotiation can work for you in any... Read More

Negotiating: Forcing vs Compromising

Forcing is a hard-nosed approach that makes heavy demands from... Read More

Negotiating Technology Contracts

Have you ever tried to negotiate a deal for software,... Read More

Negotiate Your Way to a Better Salary

1. Be persuasive: It's hard to force your boss to... Read More

Communicating Across Time Horizons

There was a time in my life when I sold... Read More

Cross Cultural Negotiations

Cross cultural negotiation is one of many specialized areas within... Read More

The Art of Negotiation in 535 words

I want to get better at negotiation, but where to... Read More

Power Pricing - Getting the Right Price for Your Products and Services

There's an old joke about the New York City blackout.... Read More

Negotiate Like a P.R.O.

Whether you're negotiating a peace settlement in a war-torn country... Read More

Negotiating Skills: Ask For More Than You Expect To Get

It creates some negotiating room, and you might just get... Read More

Can a Service Be a Commodity

Well Enron dealt with this a little for instance an... Read More

Negotiating Tactics: Don?t Let ?Good Guy ? Bad Guy? Control the Sales Negotiation

Counter one of the classic negotiating gambits by addressing it... Read More

Win-Win Power Negotiating

Let's talk about win-win negotiating. Instead of trying to dominate... Read More

Negotiate to Your Advantage

The hardest and most important part of any negotiation is... Read More

Negotiation: A Compromising Position

Negotiating is a hot topic these days for a good... Read More

Are You Scaring Away Potential Customers?

When you are trying to make a sale and ask... Read More

Barter: Its Not Just for Doctors Anymore

Time was, in the country, the local "doc" was as... Read More

Neogtiation: How to be Right Without Making Other People Wrong

What exactly are we trying to accomplish by proving to... Read More

Games are a Reflection of Behavior

You are standing on a small stage yelling, "What's the... Read More