Helping Caregivers Get Comfortable Asking For Help

Becoming a care giver might not have been a conscious decision on your part. It may have arrived quietly and unnoticed because you are the adult child of your elderly parents who now require care or you may have a special needs child that exacts your constant attention or a friend or spouse has become very ill and needs your support. In any of these situations the impact of providing constant care is tremendous.

One of the most difficult things about taking on a care giver role is that feeling of isolation, that sense of being all alone. Often times we think we need to do the job completely by ourselves, that the responsibility lays entirely with us. That's not true. You can ask for help.

Here's a few tips that will encourage you to get comfortable asking for and receiving the help you need in caring for a loved one.

1. First of all, recognize that care giving can definitely become a very responsible, overwhelming and isolating job. And also recognize that it's a sign of strength to ask for help. It means that you understand the situation and have begun to take a proactive approach to making your life better.

2. Your role may be the primary caregiver and with that in mind, it is very important to include your extended family as part of your care giving team. Perhaps your family members could provide some specific help such as handling yard work, preparing some meals, helping with financial issues, taking on the primary role so you can get away on vacation.

3. Write down all the tasks that need to be done on a weekly basis, the ones that you are most concerned about. These may include working outside the home, getting to doctor appointments, driving the kids to after school activities, laundry, cooking, cleaning, filling out forms, picking up medicines, therapy sessions, regular family duties, etc. When you see them in 'black and white' you will quickly realize just why it is you are so tired and why you need to accept any offers of help.

4. Become very aware of your monthly schedule and how others might be able to slip into the caregiver role and give you a hand. Remember, you must be ready to give them a date, time and duties when they offer assistance to you. Make a list of specific tasks that someone else could handle for you. Perhaps it's hands on assistance with personal care for your loved one or providing transportation to an appointment or activity, administering medications, helping with housework, doing the grocery shopping. You may even want to categorize these tasks so it will be easier to help decide who might be the best person for the job.

It's very important for you to learn to ask for and accept help when it is offered. Care giving at the best of times is certainly more than a 'one man job'. Realize just how extraordinary you are as a human being and recognize how important you are in caring for your loved one.

Love, honor and value yourself. Remember, by taking good care of your own health and emotions you will in turn be better able to help your loved one and enjoy a happier, less stressful lifestyle.

Lois Galloway is a Professional Coach. Lois is also the founder of Discover Yourself Coaching which specializes in coaching and caring for caregivers. To learn more about how you, as a caregiver can live 97% guilt free, please visit her web site at http://www.discoveryourselfcoaching.com You can also sign up for the Caregivers Monthly Newsletter.

In The News:


Report contains elder care ideas
Western Star, Canada - 20 hours ago
A position paper released Thursday by the Association of Registered Nurses of Newfoundland and Labrador includes recommendations for elder care. ...

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MarketWatch - Aug 26, 2008
... AgeSong's Hayes Valley Care residence, a 47-bed community in San Francisco, pioneered a new, holistic approach to elder-care that focuses on the ...

More Legal Trouble for Elder Care Operator
MarketWatch - Aug 22, 2008
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Elder care agency, Snead State join forces
Sand Mountain Reporter, AL - Aug 27, 2008
By Lionel Green The partnership involves the Marshall County Care Assurance System for the Aging (CASA) and the nursing program at Snead State Community ...

Experts see elder-care shift
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, HI - Aug 25, 2008
Internationally noted gerontologist Bill Thomas and Susan Reinhard, a national expert on long-term care and AARP senior vice president for public policy, ...

OC elder care agency owners charged
abc7.com, CA - Aug 21, 2008
They are charged with hiring at least 40 illegal immigrants to work in 10 Orange County elder care facilities and in private homes. ...

Seattle Post Intelligencer

Hours won't be cut in program for Ill. elderly
Chicago Tribune, United States - Aug 28, 2008
A reduction in hours in the Community Care Program was a way the Illinois Department on Aging was to achieve that. She said the state will look elsewhere ...
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Senior Notes
Georgetown Record, MA - 16 hours ago
Proceeds from the event benefit ESMV’s Elder Care Fund, an emergency financial resource established to help older adults, as well as ESMV walk partners from ...
Council on Aging events Melrose Free Press
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Heart Center In Waterbury Gets Reprieve
Hartford Courant, United States - 6 hours ago
The elder O'Leary died at Waterbury Hospital before he could be transferred to another hospital for advanced heart care, O'Leary said. ...

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The responsibilities - and rewards - of being 'sandwiched'
CanadianChristianity.com, Canada - Aug 28, 2008
According to Stats Canada, working women give twice as many hours per month to elder care as their male counterparts. They also do it while balancing the ...
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