Reasons For Divorce; What Constitutes Viable Reasons For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?

According to the Center for Disease Control's National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce. But, the Center for Disease Control also found that 96% of Americans express a personal desire for marriage, and almost three-quarters of Americans believe marriage is a life long commitment. I imagine that there are somewhat similar statistics worldwide.

With these kinds of statistics, its easy to see how complex it can be when people think they want a divorce, they have difficulty identifying how a truly viable divorce reason might be defined. Wanting happiness through marriage and wrestling with what may seem an inevitable outcome (a divorce), can be emotionally and mentally challenging. After all, it is human nature to want to feel nurtured and secure, no matter where you live!

So, if you're thinking about getting a divorce, what are truly valid reasons for actually getting a divorce?

Each government has different laws defining the difference between 'fault' and 'no-fault' divorce reasons that have enough merit that allow for the divorce to be granted. While it makes sense for you to keep this in mind when deciding whether or not to get a divorce because there may be financial considerations to think of, you should first focus on defining your own emotional or "personal" divorce reasons, regardless of what the local governing body says.

If you ask 100 people how they define viable reasons for wanting a divorce, you'll most likely get 100 different answers because they'll answer you from their perspective, not yours. Sure, there may be similarities to the way you feel in some of those answers about 'real' divorce reasons, you may even agree with some. But, the real answers to this question can only come from you. You have to figure out what reason or reasons would be viable in your mind in order to actually go through your decision about getting a divorce or staying married.

Some reasons that people give for getting a divorce, or wanting a divorce, are purely selfish and have no substance. An example of a reason for wanting a divorce that has no substance is not liking the fact that your spouse has constant unfounded jealousy. There is a deeper problem that exists here, and in the case of this example, it could be that the spouse who constantly feels jealousy has a confidence problem or some sort of 'fear of loss'. Whatever the case, the divorce reason in this example clearly isn't viable and should relatively easy to fix.

Often times when people give 'surface' or flimsy reasons for wanting a divorce, they really have much deeper feelings about something and they're just using the shallow divorce reason as an avoidance of some kind. Or, they give these 'foundation-less' reasons for wanting a divorce because they actually aren't aware that there are other deeper rooted reasons that are the cause of the way they feel now.

Common reasons that cause people to think about or want to get a divorce:

*Couple has conflicting personal beliefs
*Couple's marital satisfaction decreases
*Desertion
*Adultery
*Cruel treatment
*Bigamy
*Imprisonment
*Spousal Indignities
*Institutionalization
*Irretrievable Breakdown of some kind

Of course, you should add your own reasons to the list for wanting a divorce, better yet, make your own list of what may be 'valid' reasons. Solid divorce reasons for wanting or going through a divorce usually come from some sort of occurrence, behavioral pattern, and/or change in the viewpoint of the marriage itself.

In order to really make a smart divorce decision, you should first list the reasons that you have for wanting a divorce, then examine those divorce reasons for true viability. Then come back to it that list in a day or so. Chances are you will be able to scratch a few of those reasons for wanting a divorce off the list because they were identified purely from an emotional viewpoint rather than logic.

If you are thinking about getting a divorce, and haven't clearly identified what reasons you have for feeling the way you do, you'll be doing yourself a 'dis-service' if you act without carefully examining the viability each designated divorce reason. Everyone has their own reasons for wanting a divorce, make sure that you are certain that your reasons are truthfully viable to you before you act on them.

Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce", the eBook recommended by counselors to their clients. Proven "Actions Items" to help you decide!
Deciding on Divorce
reasons for divorce

In The News:


MSN UK News

Divorce at 26-year low, unless you're over 60
guardian.co.uk, UK - 14 hours ago
Divorce rates in England and Wales are at their lowest for 26 years, official figures showed yesterday. Office for National Statistics research found the ...
Divorce rate falls to 26-year low Times Online
Divorce at lowest rate for 26 years The Press Association
Divorce rate lowest for 26 years BBC News
Divorce Diva - Telegraph.co.ukall 94 news articles

Divorce stalks Katrina survivors
CNN - 21 hours ago
But what's really agonizing for him is that his wife of 16 years says she is considering a divorce. Watch their difficult living situation » "My whole life ...

E! Online

'Divorce was like dealing with death'
Times of India, India - 4 hours ago
American pop singer Jessica Simpson has admitted that her divorce from ex-husband Nick Lachey was like “dealing with death” after it was made public. ...
Jessica Simpson "Wanted to Die" After Nick Lachey Divorce Showbiz Spy
Jessica: Tony is love of my life South Wales Evening Post
Jessica Simpson 'wanted to die New York Daily News
Hollyscoop - eFluxMediaall 52 news articles

Divorce rates drop in Australia
The Age, Australia - Aug 29, 2008
Australia is experiencing a marriage "renaissance" with figures showing divorce rates have had their biggest yearly drop in two decades while marriage rates ...
For a happy marriage, get cashed up NEWS.com.au
Australia's divorce rate tumbles Daily Telegraph
all 22 news articles

What's the statute of limitations on divorce?
Times and Transcript, Canada - 4 hours ago
On a job application or any application, when does one check the divorce box versus the single one? I say if you're divorced for less than one year, ...

Death, divorce and catalogue shopping
Financial Times, UK - 12 hours ago
By Isabel Berwick Being 40 or thereabouts is suddenly fashionable. It’s the life crisis of choice for the writers and programme makers who have grown up ...

After Divorce Trend, More German Couples Stay Married
Deutsche Welle, Germany - 23 hours ago
Divorce is down ever so slightly, reflecting a trend over the last few years. Couples also stay together longer before severing the knot. ...

Complaint says judge got special deal
Minneapolis Star Tribune, MN - Aug 28, 2008
Timothy Blakely might have sent business to his lawyer and later received a markdown of $63503 on his divorce. By ROCHELLE OLSON, Star Tribune Homicide map: ...
Dakota County / Judge denies divorce fee deal Pioneer Press
Minnesota judicial board alleges wrongdoing by Goodhue County judge Post-Bulletin
Minn. board alleges wrongdoing by judge West Central Tribune
all 25 news articles

Goodhue County judge got special deal in divorce, complaint says
Minneapolis Star Tribune, MN - Aug 28, 2008
A Goodhue County Judge improperly received a $63503 discount on his $108876-divorce in exchange for directing mediation business to the lawyer who handled ...

The Sun

Divorce rate at 26 year low
Mirror.co.uk, UK - 5 hours ago
Marilyn Stowe, divorce lawyer for Stowe Family Law, said: "People now have more energy in their later years and realise there is nothing left in their ...
Misery of 4500 stranded Brits The Sun
all 3 news articles
divorce - Google News


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